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"Thank you," she said, resting her head on my shoulder. "I needed that."My mind was awhirl with what had just happened. I had lost my virginity ... to Abi! I felt closer to her than ever before, but also slightly resentful. Why couldn't we date?"I've not come like that for some time," she said. "I used to love my arse being probed gently but no-one has bothered. Mind you I used to like Simon sucking my breasts as well and no-one has done that for awhile or..." Abi whittered. I hummed and she looked across at me. "Are you OK?" she asked and I nodded and held her tight."Oh shhhh–. It was your first time, wasn't it?" I nodded again, the power of speech temporarily not with me. "I'm so sorry, Andy. I'm so selfish ... if I had thought, I'd have made it special." It was special," I muttered. "It was amazing. I've never felt anything like it. And I am glad it was with you."Abi pressed herself into me a bit further and we kissed but she was tense and I felt guilty. What had I done wrong?Abi. I turned to leave before I could she had latched onto me. She had her slim legs rapped around my legs and her arms around my chest. She took her hand and with a finger traced up my navel to the tip of my chin never taking her eyes from me. She leaned in and whispered into my ear what please tell me. Don’t be ashamed and don’t leave me. I got myself under control looked up and locked eyes with her. I didn’t say anything and neither did she. I explained that while I knew I was no longer fat I was muscular and stuff I had loved being a seal. When I was told I could never do it again I thought that I was going to die. I had lost allot of my zeal for life. I explained the night or morning rather before I met her and felt like I was being sucked into a void. I explained the thoughts I had before she had taken me out of my reverie. How I was afraid to going back to the geek or nerd I was and that even though I had been what I had been the mental picture I really had of myself was always of.
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